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Why relationships fail ?

When God created the world two beautiful souls with different biological structures came together to spread and share love and passion  Man & Woman.

Initially, the were very passionate about their relationship They went out and hunt together, they ate together and the intimacy in the relationship was next level. 

As time passed they felt a lack of attraction in each other. They didn't know what's going in their life. There was a certain kind of tension in their body, sometimes they felt annoyed with each other. sometimes angry. sometimes frustrated and they had no idea how to deal with that. They didn't know words so it's very hard for them to communicate properly.

After a short period, that relationship got dead.  there was no passion no intimacy left between them and they became numb. they became roommates from lovers. They continue to live like that.

After so many years we are facing the same problem in our relationship. But now we have all the tools and techniques to make our relationship better . and most importantly we have a word to express our emotions.
But still, we can't save the relationship or make it better. The reason for that is we don't know the core problem.

Why relationships fail? 

Most people think a relationship is a place where they can get something from the other person. They expect certain things or behaviors from their partner. 
I know it's not practical to say don't expect anything from them. The least you can do is to tell him/her what you expect and come with a mutual solution. Look your partner is not a God if you don't tell them properly what you want there is a high chance they don't understand.

The one thing people usually do is to assume that their partner should know what they are expecting from them.

After some time the attraction and passion indeed drop down a little and we start looking at partners from a different perspective.

You should handle the 4 'R' in your relationship and it is extremely important for a healthy relationship.

These are 4 stages in a real relationship   

  • Stage 1 Resistance: The first phase in a relationship when you feel resistance. you will feel some kind of tension in your stomach. Almost everyone in a relationship felt resistance to something their partner said or did. Resistance occurred when you take exception or feel annoyed of a bit separated from that person. The challenge is most people don't communicate when they feel resistance.

  • Stage 2 Resentment: If you don't handle resistance it will lead to resentment where You don't get annoyed you get angry upon your partner. you try to separate yourself from them and create an emotional barrier. It will kill all the intimacy you have.

  • Stage 3 Rejection: In this phase of the relationship you find yourself looking for ways to make your partner wrong, to verbally or non verbally attack them. In this phase, you find everything your partner does as irritating or annoying. which will leads to ........

  • Stage 4 Repression: when you tried to cop with your anger coming from the rejection phase. you try to avoid pain by breaking up the relationship or by creating emotional numbness. In this phase, you don't feel any pain but you don't feel any passion or excitement either. this is the most dangerous phase in a relationship where lovers become roommates.

If you want to prevent yourself from the 4 R's communicate clearly with your partner. I always say communication is very very important for a successful relationship. When you feel annoyed or the tension inside your body discuss with your partner (using transformational vocabulary that I will cover in the next post).

And the most important thing which leads to unsuccessful relationships that most people don't know is never never never ever threaten the relationship.
Don't ever say  " If you do that then I am leaving " this will create the fear inside your loved one. 

Don't put the fear of separation in a relationship and at the same time, don't take someone granted either.

Click on the box 


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Baat karne se hi baat banti he.

Jab tu saath tha teri keemat jana nahi humne. Ab jab tu sath nahi, tujhe anmol bana diya humne.             Aaj stories pe unki aakhen bhi num he, jo kavi tujhse aakhen churate the. Tweeter pe bade bade batain likhte hen, jo kavi tujhse baaten bhi nahi kiya karte the. Jab tu bolta raha humne tujhko ignore kar diya Ab jab tu khamosh he , humne teri khamoshi bhi padhna start kar diya.   Galti humari thi, jo humne tujhe samjha nahi . Kavi akele baith ke teri baatain suna nahi Jab puchna tha hume , humne tujhse pucha nahi Tu thik he ki nahi ye kavi jaanna chaha nahi. Shayad teri muskurahat ke nakab ko humne tera chehra samajh liya . Shayad teri fikar karne ko  humne koi boring sa kaam samajh liya . Chupane se chizen kavi thik nahi hoti he, Aur rone se tumhari izzat kavi kam nahi hoti he. Mat socho ese, ki tumhe koi judge karega. Tumhare galat ko sahi aur sahi ko galat bolega. Apne feelings ko bayan karne se hi duniya sunti he. Ki baat karne se hi baat banti he.